Infidelity Hurts Everybody

Cheating is a breech of trust, and a betrayal. A breech of trust because the cheater has done something that they promised they would not do. A betrayal because when the cheater took this action, they knew it would hurt the person they cheated on, if they found out, and still they purposefully did it anyway. Cheaters, almost always, claim to not have intended on hurting anybody, but that sentiment rings un-true because they know how their partner would feel about it, way before they do it. They may also have an idea that the person they are cheating with, could possibly end up broken hearted, but if they are willing to put their relationship in jeopardy, the sky seems to be the limit. What they do not bargain for is being hurt themselves. It does not take a person of little, or no moral character to cheat. Up until that moment, they can be very nice respectable individuals. Even the most religious, or spiritual, people are not immune to this unfortunate turn in the road. All it takes is one bad decision, or giving in to a split second of extreme weakness. Nobody could be prepared for the lifetime of consequences that, are sure to, follow an infidelity. Even when the cheating occurs between two consenting adults, and both are completely aware of the entire situation, and it’s limitations, people can get hurt. Expectations have a way of changing when sex and intimacy are brought into the picture. Guilt and jealousy also have a way of turning situations and people into something far from what they started out as. Long before physical cheating begins there is mental and emotional cheating going on. It’s during this time that things get a little sticky, but it is not too late to do damage control. It is also a lot easier to break all ties with the person the cheating was going to take place with, before there has been any physical intimacy. Until anything physical happens both parties can see this as mere fantasy that they will not act on. It is still cheating, but the there are still some boundaries intact. Couples can actually turn things around during this phase of cheating to benefit their relationship. One, or both can see this as a wake up call and use it as a way to spotlight problems, or maybe even acknowledge their problems for the first time. There will still be an element of betrayal, but it is one that can be worked through with much more ease than can a physical betrayal, especially if the person who was considering cheating comes clean to their partner, before getting caught. Once things progress to physical cheating, all boundaries have been violated, as has the committed relationship. At this point all parties have been compromised in some way, and are hurting. The person who has been cheated has already been feeling the disconnect from their partner, and does not understand why. The person who cheated is usually feeling guilty and bad about themselves. The pressure of knowing that every day they are living a lie, wears on their mind and soul. The person who participated in the cheating is well aware that they are the third wheel, and therefore not of primary concern. They can feel used, and may blame themselves. It is a hard time, but one that can be learned from, so as not to be repeated in future relationships. The price of infidelity far out weighs any imagined pleasure that can be had.

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